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Thomas Dantalian

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Why yes, there is anger and annoyance [May. 2nd, 2007|08:24 pm]
Thomas Dantalian
[mood |pissed offpissed off]

thanks for asking.

No there will not be elaboration. Sadly.. there will be no further information. Just a moment to vent. Then be a serene little bug again.
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For every Person who blames the Gays for natural disasters [Aug. 30th, 2005|10:55 am]
Thomas Dantalian
[Tags|, , , ]
[mood |vicious]

From Fox news:
A car lies abandoned on a flooded road in Mobile, Ala.

So, you want to vote Republican again in 2006?
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I am so bored with people tonight [Mar. 25th, 2005|11:36 pm]
Thomas Dantalian
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

Strangely I am in good spirits. There are just so many people that annoy me. There is a plastic falseness to the so called 'City of Angels.' Everyone trying to fit in to their groups, winding their way through their petty lives.

So few people have any sense of consideration anymore. People playing silly games because it's more fun to play their games than accomplish anything of value.

An example: I'm trying to move something bulky. I comment to the person in the way: "I need you to move please." (they ignore me)... After a moment, "I still really need you to move".... after being ignored again, "Okay, you're just being in the way and completely unaware of anything beyond your self-involvement."

The first was a polite request, the second more insistent, the third intentionally rude. Most people reacted to the third one, because it was 'inappropriate.' Personally, I think it was not only appropriate but required because the good behaviour was ignored. That was inappropriate.

What it comes to is my realization that there are people I have to interact with that I just simply don't like. Being in their presence annoys me. Not everyone that I had to interact with. Just the adult children who feel that their personality quirks give them rights to be useless.

Fine... flame off. Well at least one flame. The other is just annoying.
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A joke I read... [Feb. 1st, 2005|12:22 am]
Thomas Dantalian
[mood |amusedamused]

1: Knock knock

2: Who's there

1: Control Freak. Now you ask, "Control Freak, who?"

This diversion to make up for the last one that was over before it started. Too easy. I want a real challenge.
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Vicious, evil, etc. [Jan. 31st, 2005|02:33 pm]
Thomas Dantalian
[mood |evil]

The fun part is that I know who reads this journal. I think I have one or two stragglers who've subscribed out of boredom.

I've been in a hateful and evil mood all day. The kind of day where all I want to do is find some little gothy who thinks she's all dark and broody... and pretty much destroy her.

I'm not referring to a BDSM session where she walks away puffing on yet another cigarette feeling the rush of sweet pain. I mean a situation where little gothy girl leaves in tears because her entire self-paradigm of faux, fashionable self loathing has just been pulled out from under her massively over-cliched, double, flash-laced, hot-topic boots and bashed over her, "aren't I the cutest cam-grrrl" head.

Also, any of the stragglers who think this is a challenge. Oh, please.. feel free to believe that you are up for the challenge. If I read one more "I'm the new coming of the dark occultists" post, or "My mentor can magickally whip your mentor." or "Your magick is not as strong as my magick" I'm going to wretch.

It's all a pissing contest and most of these morons don't even have the dick to aim with.

Bahlasti! Ompehda! I spit on your crapulous creeds.
I fart in your general direction.
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Oh, no. It's entirely ego. [Jan. 26th, 2005|10:55 pm]
Thomas Dantalian
[mood |pleasedpleased]
[music |Oh.. something from NiN]

How to make a gomory

1 part pride

1 part brilliance

3 parts instinct
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Serve with a slice of curiosity and a pinch of salt. Yum!


Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

And yes... Viciousness could be my specific brand of instinct.
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The question came up this evening [Dec. 19th, 2004|10:20 pm]
Thomas Dantalian
What do you do for a living?

This question gives me a wry smile. Becuase it insinuates the question, "What pays the bills." But, what I do to pay the bills has nothing to do with what keeps me alive. What keeps me living.

I can honestly say that I am a ceremonial sex magickian. And all that really means is that:

a) I enjoy structured dramatic ritual that often draws on magickal symbollism
b) I utilyze the sexual act to help fuel the work I do.

Now, does that mean that I believe in every wee-beastie and sound like some bad marketing commerical for a psychic? Hell no. Does it mean that sex is this sacred rite that is only suited for magickal works? Christ, no.

But what it does mean is that I am on the path to make my universe in my way.

The word of sin is "restriction." That being said... go forth and do thy will. To it's fullest. And revel in the bloodlust of being you.

IF so, the rest (the bills) they actually will take care of themselves... (Metaphorically speaking)
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Can't we start hurting each other [Dec. 1st, 2004|03:27 pm]
Thomas Dantalian
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

I really doubt that I'd be a good dom. I've discovered that I only am effective at being harsh to people when I really don't care what the damage is that it might do.

I have found myself increasingly giving crisis counseling. Using my background as a priest of EGC and what I tend to believe to be a healthy understanding of thelema and self, I strike out to help people who seem to be stuck.

It's always been part of my life, now.. it just seems to come more naturally.

Unfortunately, I've got one or two cases that really just need a good swift kick in the ass. Today I will talk about 1 in particular.

The situation at lengthCollapse )

So... I could see myself in a secretary sense telling this person what to do, how to dress, how to take her own life back. I could see myself punishing her on a regular basis. But I won't and can't. On one level, I think I would end up being too damned harsh, because I actually think I'm getting more of a thrill seeing her get frustrated and angry. On the other hand, it troubles me that I care this much about the situation and realize that I still can not act out these kind of dom like behaviours with my own wife.

And to answer the question, yes... I've openly discussed this with my wife. Communication is the heart of a successful relationship.
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I really want to damage someone today [Nov. 10th, 2004|03:53 pm]
Thomas Dantalian
[mood |pissed offpissed off]

This trip has actually sucked quite mightily.

Every hope and expectation this week has been pretty well shat upon. The people I was hoping to meet and interact with socially have all been busy or incapable of getting transportation. The interview I had today focused entirely on the one thing that I was hoping would be looked beyond. The other jobs I want just never come into reach.

I know things are okay, but today I feel a general spiraling into hell. And it's really fucking pissing me off. Playing by their rules is going to consume my soul. Not playing by the rules isn't really working either.

Thelemically I believe I'm on the right course. But I also feel like I'm stalled and floating. I want to shine gloriously like the star I am and yet I have these days where I get folded into darkness.

So, the sadistic, vicious side of me wants to damage someone today. I mean really just vent out all my anger and venom into someone and watch them suffer. I can think of at least 3 people I interact with on some level that I actually just want to tear apart and make cry. I want to feast on them and find pleasure in it.

But to be honest, it's all a pipe dream. Even I don't think I have that raw level of hate, anger, and evil to damage someone just for my own pleasure. I suppose maybe if they were some kind of consenting sub. Even then... Just don't think I could go thru with it.

The people I am thinking of... I so feel they deserve it. One in particular. I suppose that's always been the core of my frustrations. I don't like seeing people do well who don't deserve it. Who don't earn it. Who cheat and hurt people to get there. So I guess I want to play their game on them even harder. And it's not to try to teach a lesson. It's basically to revel in them suffering in what they have done.

I have all these dreams of how I want to live my life. I see the picture very clearly. I just don't have much luck getting there. Or at least I don't see the progress if I am. And that makes it so much more difficult. I refuse to believe that I'm supposed to just back off and let this world walk over me. It doesn't fit into my world view. This isn't ego... this is fact. I believe I'm supposed to make a dent in this world. And a positive one at that.

You'd think that in a city of nearly a half million people I could find someone who would enjoy being my victim for the evening.

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So shines a good deed, in a weary world... [Nov. 2nd, 2004|11:56 am]
Thomas Dantalian
[mood |hopefulhopeful]

This is a journal of my rants, and raves. It's the words I wish I could say publicly.

I don't go out of my way to promote this journal or to even tell most of the people close to me that it's my journal.

I read this today... It made me want to cry with happiness.

I'd post this on my public journal, but it would get me labelled (probably incorrectly) with a part affiliation that I really don't want.

The joy of this article is the fact that intelligent people spoke to each other.

And actually chose to think.

May whatever you find as divine, bless you with the ability to think.

I pray this is a true story.
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